Perpetuating The Myth

Being someone who doesn’t usually pay attention to celebrity news, media or commercial entities, I found myself attracted to the recent media coverage surrounding the birth of Robbie Williams and Ayda Field’s second child, Charlton.

The couple made numerous videos during the labour and posted them online for fans and celebrity fanatics to follow Ayda’s labour progress. Trying to keep the mood light, their videos included Ayda twerking for husband Robbie and Robbie singing the well known soundtrack to the film Frozen while Ayda has a contraction.
Since the birth, the videos have made their way onto television, online newspapers and social media sites. They have sparked many conversations and debates about everything, from whether this was a media stunt, to what mothers think and if they would have approved of their partners doing the same thing?!

Of course, like anything surrounding birth, everyone has an opinion. I’ve read everything from “Oh how funny!” to “I would kill my husband if he did that to me!”. It seems many find the videos in bad taste, asking “Is nothing private anymore?!”. However, amongst of all the comments there didn’t seem to be much said about the actual labour itself or the number of interventions that appeared to be going on despite it being portrayed as a normal labour.

Although the couple don’t go into details of the labour progression, they give the impression that everything is ‘going to plan’. Ayda doesn’t look concerned about the birth and for the most part seems quite happy playing along with Robbie’s antics.
Robbie performs his song ‘Candy’ for Ayda to take her mind off of the labour. Whether he believes this will actually help the labour move forward smoothly, or whether this is in fact a publicity stunt, Robbie appears to be unaware that if wife Ayda is irritated by his joking around, then this is likely to slow her labour down! Making the mother feel completely comfortable and safe is key to a smooth untroubled labour.
Furthermore, behind the bravado, the couple are surrounded by bright lights, a drip (most likely containing syntocinon/pitocin, a drug used to induce labour), stirrups, blood pressure cuff strapped to Ayda’s arm, use of an amnihook and when it came to ‘push’ Ayda was flat on her back with her legs in the air!

With the abundance of research carried out and information available regarding birth, you might think the couple would know to avoid interventions where possible. Bright lights can slow labour down, babies can be born with the waters still in tact and laying flat on your back is certainly not the optimal position for a smooth birth.

The after birth video quotes Ayda as saying “Every ounce counts!”, but I say “Every centimetre counts!” and laying on your back can decrease your pelvis size by 30%, constricting the opening your baby has to squeeze through and forcing them to travel uphill; making the mother’s and the baby’s job harder!

While the videos may be amusing to some, it is yet another example of how intervention has become routine, widely accepted and in some circumstances, expected. Many believe the videos were made to be all about Robbie, he is the star of the show while Ayda just so happens to be giving birth in the background. This is unfortunate because it means people lose sight of the message the footage could be sending to young women and men about birth.

Men can and do have a big part to play in the birth of their babies. They are there to ensure the mother feels secure, protected, trusted, empowered, listened to, comfortable and not rushed!

Media is powerful and what the footage portrays is overshadowed for a few laughs. If you’re going to show birth why not share the details, explain what is happening and why? Some believe birth should not be used as a media stunt, but others were annoyed that after all the hoo-ha the couple didn’t show the baby once he was born! Some might argue that once you start to put your birth on social media when does it stop becoming public and turn into something personal, exempt from the publics viewing?!

Whatever the reason behind the videos, they perpetuate the myth that interventions are ‘normal’. This does an injustice to the next generation of mums and dads who will continue the cycle of believing that a drug fuelled, intervention led, fast labour is better for them and their baby, when in fact the opposite is true!

 

-B

A Helpful Question

There are short exchanges and small remarks that can leave you feeling a little silly. The following exchange did just that and occurred at the beginning of our antenatal class:

“Do you both believe your/partners body is capable of making and growing a baby?”

Without hesitation we both answered “Yes” just as we think most people would.

It was then remarked:

“Then why would you think that a body that is capable of such a feat, would not be perfectly capable of giving birth to that same baby!”

It illustrated how irrational some of our fears really were. In that one little exchange a confidence and calmness was instilled, that stayed with us throughout. When we were worried or nervous for no apparent reason one of us would ask the other that question and found it comforting.

When you are feeling worried or anxious about your impending birth try asking yourself that same question and hopefully it will help to dispel those irrational fears many of us have.

-J

Adrenaline: Bad For Labour? Huh!

One of the things that amazed us most was learning about the negative effects adrenaline can have on labour. The pre-conceived idea of labour that most people have is a labour full of adrenaline. But this is just wrong! A calm, relaxed labour is far more beneficial and rewarding for all parties involved. A calm, quiet, drama-less labour makes for bad TV. So most, if not all labours seen on TV are loud, frenzied and drama fuelled. All this does is perpetuate the stereotype of a dramatic labour.

We have learnt many things along our way and this was probably the most enlightening of them all. It came as a shock and completely changed our approach to labour. Luckily for us, we found this out at the beginning of the second trimester; whilst we were still deciding and had no set birth plan or mindset.

When a woman goes into labour her body releases oxytocin (known as the love hormone or cuddle chemical) and that in turn releases pain relieving endorphins (morphine like in nature; but far, far more powerful, they attach to same brain receptors as morphine and codeine). It’s these two things that make labour bearable and manageable for the mother. When adrenaline is involved it directly counters the effects of oxytocin and in turn the endorphin release, resulting in reduced pain relief.

If there is too much adrenaline, it can actually stop labour and even reverse the process. This is an inbuilt system; the emergency response, the mothers instinct is to protect her child and to feel as safe and secure as possible. If she feels stressed or insecure, however minor, it will have negative effects on the progression of labour.

However, it isn’t completely bad! The negative aspects are mainly referring to the ‘up stage’ of labour or the ‘first stage’ of labour, as this is the stage that consists of the greatest proportion of time in the whole process. However, once into the second stage of labour (generally the last hour or so) there is a fine balance between oxytocin and adrenaline. Oxytocin and the other cartenocenides enable pain relief, but no endurance. This is where adrenalin kicks in, right when it’s getting too much, it slows oxytocins effect down, gives the mother a boost in energy, then backs off and the cycle starts again. This balance is completely different for every woman. Every woman will have different limits and abilities and the balance will be tuned perfectly for them, if left to do what it does best.

If all but the last hour or so of labour is adrenaline free, a woman can have access to all the pain relief she could ever need, far more potent than any available drug, just waiting for the taking.

 

– J

 

The Forth Trimester – Tips To Aid The Transition

Yes you read it right, the fourth trimester! Everyone knows that pregnancy is made up of three trimesters. The first trimester where you may want to hurl when talking about, looking at or attempting to eat food either in the morning, noon or night or if you’re really unlucky, all three. Then there’s that bit in the middle where your bump starts to show, you feel those fluttery movements for the first time and you get to make the decision whether to find out what sex the baby is or to wait for a surprise when the birth happens. Then finally the third trimester where most people including strangers will suddenly want to know the ins and outs of your plans. You know the kind of thing I’m referring to – “Where you’re going to have the baby?”, “Do you plan to breastfeed?”, “Do you know what you’re having?”, “Have you got a name?”, “Is the baby’s room ready?”, ” Have you got everything?”.

The three trimesters we’re all familiar with are related to pregnancy, those 40 weeks that a woman carries her child with her everywhere. Nine months of uninterrupted togetherness; being one and the same, sharing every part of our lives, feeling each other’s movements. For three-quarters of a year we are never alone, we share, bond with and nurture our bodies and our babies to keep them safe, warm and protected, so they and we feel secure.

The fourth trimester refers to the first few months following birth. For first time mums especially, this is usually the period they feel the most insecure, but also the most judged. We are bombarded with conflicting information from professionals, health visitors, midwives, “self-proclaimed baby experts” and other mothers and are asked questions like “Is he a good eater?”, “Is he sleeping well?”, or my personal favourite, “Is he good?”. It’s no wonder we feel under scrutiny.

The first few months are called the fourth trimester for a reason. After being dependant on their mother for 9 months, there has to be a period of adjustment. Before birth all a baby is aware of is weightlessness, in warm, soft and dark surroundings, the muffled sound of voices (mostly mums, possibly dads or grandparents), always with the mothers constant heart beat for company. Being born into a bright, loud, cold world with scratchy, itchy materials is a massive change and one that is regularly underestimated.

The mother also has to adjust to her baby being separate from her own body. Looking after your baby when pregnant can be quite simple, avoid certain foods/alcohol and keep a relatively healthy diet; you can’t really go wrong. After birth there’s all sorts of things for mothers to fret about. It’s no wonder we might have a feeling of wanting to carry baby everywhere, it’s what you’re both used to and it’s a very natural way to feel! 

The fourth trimester is about meeting your baby’s needs, aiding their and your adjustment to life on the outside. Think of it as a transition from womb to world. There are a few ways in which to help this:

DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE
This is possibly the only time you can say ‘NO!’ to the hoovering, washing up, food shopping, cooking, clothes washing and get away with it. If you want visitors, why not ask them to bring dinner, make their own tea when they arrive and make you one while they’re at it! After all, you are taking care of a new baby, so you need taking care of in turn. This is the time to call in those friendly favours and your partner to pick up the slack.

BABY WEAR
Carrying baby in a sling, will provide a feeling of comfort and closeness for baby, (a soft wrap sling is great for the early weeks). Being able to hear the heartbeat of the wearer will feel like a home from home for a newborn. With the help of a sling you can carry little one and watch tv, read a book, use the bathroom, eat dinner, it’s a win win.

For mothers, holding your baby releases the love hormone oxytocin into both your systems. This, and skin to skin contact will aid the bonding process for you both.

LISTEN AND WATCH FOR YOUR BABY’S CUES
As we’ve written about HERE, Dunstan’s Baby Language is a must have tool for any parent. You’re baby is trying to communicate with you, albeit with a different vocabulary.

Listen and watch your baby to see if you can pick up on their early signs, this will help lessen fussy and crying periods. Remember, once baby is crying it’s already too late, you’ve missed the cues and their attempt to communicate. The more you study them, the more you’ll learn and hopefully the easier your adjustment will be.

FEED ON DEMAND
Babies, like adults, can get thirsty as well as hungry. Do not worry yourself with unrealistic expectations of your baby feeding a set amount at set intervals. New babies will eat as much or as little as they want at any time of the day or night. I’m sure you do not eat the same amount of food at the same times of day, everyday; so you should not expect your baby to.

Aiming to put baby onto a feeding schedule too early will teach little one to eat when not hungry; promoting bad eating habits, that have the potential to be carried into later in life.

AID BABY WITH SLEEP
Quite a few of us have heard the ‘making a rod for your own back’ speech. This is especially given to mums who let their baby’s fall asleep at the breast and/or hold them to sleep.

Putting a baby down on their own to sleep is an unrealistic expectation, especially in the early months. Babies learn new skills with our help, love and support, this includes sleep and self settling.

SLEEP is an acquired skill and just like walking takes time, help and guidance. You would not expect your child to walk, without first rolling over, sitting unaided, crawling (sometimes backwards first), standing, walking holding furniture, to finally walking alone; albeit with many trips, stumbles and falls. Sleep is a skill that is acquired and will take time and patience to help them master, accompanied by “trips and falls” (the well known 4 month sleep regression is one).

To SELF SETTLE, a baby must first learn this skill. A great way of doing this is to hold and soothe your baby to sleep. Humming, swaying, breast feeding, talking gently or simply sitting still, in a relaxed state will teach your baby that to sleep we must be relaxed and content. The feeling of being close to someone should make for a longer more peaceful sleep for baby.

The ‘rod for your own back’ brigade give mums a false impression that if they hold baby while he/she sleeps they run the risk of baby being clingy and needy. This kind of advice is not helpful nor realistic to the baby’s needs.

Advising mums to settle baby down on their own to sleep, putting baby into eating routines and generally putting space between mother and child is more likely to create a needy baby as they feel their most basic needs are not already met.

FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS
For a child to be independent, they must first be dependant on their mother to meet their needs. This allows the baby to later inspect and explore the world from the safety of knowing their mother will meet his needs emotionally and physically, as and when he needs it.

Do not be afraid of following your heart, no matter what others think, YOU know what is best for your child. If it means standing out from the crowd then so be it. A lot of mothers are now are encouraged to not be instinctual; but instead to follow the crowd, trying out sleeping routines, feeding schedules etc, all in the hope of achieving ‘good baby’ status.

You may not always feel like you’re getting it right, but if you follow your instincts and remain objective about your choices then you’re mostly there.

 

Keep in mind that this period of adjustment is far more upsetting for baby then it is for you. You have the ability to ask for human contact if you’re feeling scared, able to express your upset and to ask for comfort if needed, make yourself something to eat or drink or take something for trapped wind. You know this world, the sights, sounds and smells. You have control of your body and know the sensations you feel. Your baby does not, and has limited ways of communicating.

So while mums, dads and babies go through this period of adjustment, encourage them to embrace the fourth trimester, not go against it. Hold baby if they want to, whether the baby is sleeping or not. Instead of showing your disapproval of bed sharing, help them find the necessary information to ensure they do it safely.

Encouraging parents to go against their instincts makes more nervous, anxious, less confident parents. Instead, encourage her mothering instincts and provide her with the same love and support she is trying to nurture her baby with. We all deserve the opportunity to become the best parents we can be to our children; with the right support along the way, we all stand a fighting chance.

 

-B

Mother Knows Best?

When it comes to birth there seems to be some confusion over who is in charge of the process. Is it the Mother or the Midwives and Hospital Staff?

Every time this debate arises it is met with blank expressions and shrugging of shoulders. Surely the hospital staff should be in charge because they know what is going on and will only do what is in the best interests of Mother and child?

A majority of people would like to think so, but let’s face it, from the moment you walk through those labour ward doors your clock starts ticking. In that moment what should be a perfectly normal part of every day life turns into a race against time. Suddenly labour and birth has it’s time limits and if your baby and body fail to fit within the parameters set by the ‘professionals’ then measures will be taken to aid in the safe birth of the baby. Giving the impression that Mother and child are no longer deemed capable to provide safe passage, why is this?

For the majority of us we attend a hospital for help, because something is wrong and we need an expert to tell us what it is and fix it so we feel better. With birth, many people have the same view, attending hospital to get professional help and ‘drugs’ to make them feel better. Why do many treat having a baby the same way; as if there is something wrong with them? They are not ill and certainly do not need fixing! So why are we so dependent on meddling in what is just another natural bodily function?

For many women a ‘natural’ birth would be not having pain relief other than gas and air. While this would give women a great sense of achievement, there are actually many other things that Mothers sign up to while in labour that aren’t necessarily in the benefit of the natural labouring process. For example, internal examinations are not necessary to tell dilation, using one of many other options, the position of the woman’s bump could provide enough information to which stage the labour is at. It’s hard to comprehend why examinations are widely used given that a woman could go from 2cm to 6cm and back to 2cm at any point given the circumstances at the time. There are no limits to how long each centimetre should take and therefore it is difficult to see a benefit in having this ‘routine’ procedure. In fact it could have the opposite effect, making the woman uncomfortable which could possibly slow the process down if her body reacts to the unnatural intrusion.

Every minute without progress leads closer to more internal examinations, induction drips, baby monitoring, mother monitoring, drugs and in a lot of cases the mother having to remain stagnant on a hospital bed so the Midwives can monitor their progress.

Everything natural about the process is removed until we are left with a situation that must be controlled. Moving further and further away from the natural beauty that is birth.

It is also frustrating that many mothers are not warned of the consequences of having such ‘routine’ procedures; in many cases, intervention leads to intervention. Every time we interrupt a woman in labour, we are potentially setting her progress back, this could lead to her feeling more uncomfortable and out of control. The ‘professionals’ are potentially slowing down her body’s ability to birth, thus requiring more interventions to get her back on track. That’s not to say an internal examination will lead to an epidural, c-section or otherwise; but it increases the likelihood.

When something has to be done, is the Mother being told or asked?

It seems that many women are not aware that in the UK there are laws to protect women so they can make choices regarding their birth experience (for more info see this article).  This means that it is not the Hospital ‘letting you have your baby without intervention’, it is the Mother who gives permission. Permission to carry out examinations, monitor mum and baby; permission to oversee her birth and administer care when she so asks or agrees to it. Unfortunately this is not common practice and for the most part it is completely the opposite.

Many women are not aware that they can and should be in charge of what is going on. Midwives and birth partners are simply there to facilitate it. I have met some wonderful midwives who understand and encourage women to experience childbirth the way every woman deserves to. I was fortunate to have such a midwife present at the birth of my child and to her I am grateful of the support and respect of my choices throughout my pregnancy, my birth and after.

However, there are midwives who either do not care or do not understand how their actions can have a detrimental effect on the mothers ability to birth and bond with her child after birth. It is true that you do not get a medal for going ‘Au Naturel’, but having the opinion that it is of no benefit/gain to a woman and baby, is ignorant at best.

For the most part though, I feel that many midwives have their hands tied by ‘the system’; they are given a set of parameters in which they have to assess the progress of the birth and provide the ‘necessary’ care to ensure every mothers stays somewhere within them. So concerned of the blame culture we have nowadays we seem to have lost the ability to be subjective and see the bigger picture.

Instead of disabling women with time limits, unneeded interventions and blinding them with unnecessary rhetoric that is for the most part neither useful nor helpful to a birthing mother. We should be empowering women, better educating them, encouraging and enabling them to take charge of their birth; trust their instincts and provide them with safe secure surroundings, in which to experience what should be the biggest achievement she has ever made.

For info on birthing rights or queries regarding them in the UK try here http://www.birthrights.org.uk/ or here http://www.aims.org.uk

– B

Be In Awe Of Yourself!

How many women go into labour unsure of what to expect? – Now I’m not talking about the ‘pain’ of labour, a contraction is a strange sensation and can be as individual as the person experiencing it – But in terms of what a contraction is, what it is doing and how it is aiding your body to birth your baby, how many women can honestly say they know these things?

It’s thanks to our antenatal teacher and chosen birthing method that we were taught almost everything there is to know about birth and what to expect when the day finally came. We took the time to speak about anything and everything birth related, what we wanted/did not want, our hopes and fears, the ‘what if’s?!’

Throughout my labour, there we’re no nasty surprises, no real wonderings of ‘what is happening to my body?!’.

I cannot help but wonder if many women have these thoughts during labour and are scared of how their bodies feel. It wouldn’t surprise me if this leads many women to ask for or agree to pain relief/intervention because they feel out of control and are unsure of what is happening and if what they’re feeling is ‘normal’.

The mechanics of birth, when understood, are so profoundly beautiful that I challenge women not be be in awe of themselves and their body’s ability to create life.

To me, knowledge was power and I was in control, not of my body, but of my mind. I need not control my body, it knows what to do, however the mind is powerful and can cause havoc if not aware and informed.

-B

Home Birth – You’re Brave!

Deciding to birth our baby at home was absolutely the right decision for us, it was disappointing that other people did not see it that way.

At our 16 week midwife appointment we had a lengthy chat about our birthing method and our choices on where to birth. Up to this point birthing at home seemed like a wonderful idea but a scary prospect. After a frank discussion our apprehensions were all but gone; the only thing holding us back now was the worry of what other people will think! What if other people don’t approve? Or if they find the prospect scary and inappropriately start to talk to me about what would be their fears?! We made the decision there and then that we both wanted a home birth, but it was something I was not ready to reveal to others just yet.

So we continued with our birth course and researched the facts about birthing, we researched the research to make sure it was balanced and left no stone unturned. If we were going to do this we needed to ‘know our stuff’; ‘winging it’ wasn’t going to be good enough and quite honestly I feel would’ve been irresponsible.

When the time came to ‘go public’ we were over 32 weeks pregnant. I still wasn’t confident that people would be accepting of our choices, but I was confident we had made the right choice and was ready for any eventuality. As suspected, we were met with questions of ‘Do they let you do that with your first baby?’ and statements like ‘You’re brave!’ People were also shocked that you can ‘Only have gas and air!’ at a home birth.

What’s more, they were quite happy to share their awful birthing experiences with us, I can imagine the only reason for this being that it was supposed to ‘prepare’ us for what they thought we might experience.

So sick of the naysayers I started to retaliate. When men would say ‘You wait till you start to shout at your husband, poor bloke won’t know what’s hit him!’, I would reply ‘If I’m shouting then something has gone astray, there is no benefit to shouting while giving birth’. When women would say ‘Only gas and air or a paracetamol – do they think you’re having a baby or a headache?!’ I would state ‘Considering my body will provide a natural painkiller 200 times more powerful than morphine; I’m hopeful I won’t need anything else’. I was aware that this could be coming across as confrontational at times, but I was tired of women who had babies saying ‘You wait until it happens, and you’ll do anything and everything to get that baby out!’

I learnt a lot about people’s outlook on birth over those few weeks. It would seem that people view birth in a way that is generally portrayed in films and on so-called ‘reality’ TV. Unfortunately these things are edited for entertainment, therefore are not a true and balanced reflection of reality.

Eventually I learnt to ignore the raised eyebrows and the rolled eyes, especially the looks of disbelief when I confidently told people that I was not worried about the birth or apprehensive about the pending arrival, but was excited to meet my bundle of joy and sad my pregnancy was coming to an end.

It’s upsetting that my initial suspicions about people’s reactions were right. I found this disappointing, but the more people we spoke to, the more confident I became in my and our baby’s ability to do this! Birth, I felt, did not have to be screaming and sweating and swearing and crying and begging for it to be over. Instead I pictured it as an uncomfortable task that would be overshadowed by joy and excitement and happiness and wonder and love; lots and lots of love.

– B

Hypnobirthing; “Not Hippy Bulls**t”

This is how we were first introduced to Hypnobirthing and it was the perfect thing to say to me! Completely disabling my knee jerk response to something that, to my ears and ignorant mind, sounded very hippy and new age, not at all for us.

Whilst this isn’t the typical introduction most give Hypnobirthing, it was the best and in my opinion the only way to introduce it. The name truly does no justice to the help, information and guidance that Hypnobirthing provides. To the uninitiated, the hippy and new age feel is exactly how it appears upon first look. It certainly was in my case and most people we mentioned it to in the following months. Our tactic, after a few failed attempts, was to explain the process and end with the term “Hypnobirthing”, upon which, many commented, that had we not explained it, they would have thought it just a load of “Hippy Bulls**t” or similar. We almost relished explaining the process to people, just to drop the “H Bomb” at the end and see their reaction.

We went to a baby and toddler show to find out about anything and everything, we were 3 months pregnant and oblivious, we had intended to look around and see the wares that were available and figure out what we needed, wanted and to differentiate between the two. There were lectures, as is often the case, and we sat in on all that took our fancy. The lecture that started this whole process was on BabyCalm, I had had a link to the website open on my desktop awaiting perusal and evaluation for a week or so and it had yet to be even looked at. Now someone was going to save me the time and effort and tell me all about it, brilliant!

We sat, listened and as the half hour or so passed we learnt the basic premise was that every baby was individual and BabyCalm aimed in trying to help you understand the world from their perspective. It also provided a lot of unbiased, factual information and guidance. This suited our intended outlook and we became convinced the accompanying book that was available, would be a very useful tool to have in our arsenal. We then were told there were only a few books left and they were becoming scarce elsewhere, so we quickly marched over to the stall to buy one.

How happy we were, in the months that followed, that we bought it. It gave us great peace of mind and enabled us to understand our little one and empathise far better than we thought possible. It is a book that we shall give, instead of the usual baby gifts, to all of our friends and family in the lead up to their momentous day.

At that stall is where we first heard the term Hypnobirthing and being inquisitive had to ask what it was about; expecting a fluffy, hippy and new age explanation. Our predetermined thoughts must have been radiating from our pores, as we were simply told “It’s Not Hippy Bulls**t”, which completely disabled our opinionated manner and really intrigued me! We were then told ” If you can bear with me whilst I prepare your book and receipt, take a look at this video and I’ll answer any questions after”. It was a video excerpt of a Hypnobirth from a documentary filmed for BBC Three (“Cherry has a baby” with Cherry Healy). This video showed a hypnobirth where the baby was born in an extremely relaxed manner and was so calm the baby appeared to be asleep. Until that moment we had no idea that was even possible and had assumed that birth was a somewhat loud and obnoxious process. Did we have questions after watching this? Hell yeah! How? Can we achieve something like this? Why isn’t everyone doing this? etc.

We decided at that moment, if we could achieve something even remotely resembling that birth, that it would be an amazing feat and we would do our utmost to make it possible. We decided to do a taster workshop on Hypnobirthing as it was the smallest financial commitment we could make and still experience what was to offer, as we were still uncertain about its suitability for us. Still thinking it maybe a little too “hippy” for us. Two weeks later we tootled off to the workshop.

There we learnt, in a nutshell; Hypnobirthing involves teaching the mother to relax, breath and meditate down into a type of self-hypnosis; her only job during labour, is labour. Timing surges (Hypnobirthing name for contractions, we used both), communicating with midwives and any other things that would normally divert the attention of the mother, become the responsibility of the partner. The partner becomes the intermediary and the advocate for the mother, protecting her space and providing a continuity of care that can often be lost in a modern hospital setting. We were taught the bio-mechanics of labour and the processes used in hospitals, where they can contradict each other and how we could work to sustain a calm consistent environment for the mother regardless of the setting. The more we learnt, the more we wanted to learn and the more passionate it made us.

We loved every minute and having been at there for little over 20 minutes we decided that this would be the antenatal class and birthing technique that “fitted”. It fitted with our expectations, our hopes and dreams for a calm birth and our babies introduction into this world.

From that point on we were going to be “Hypnobirthers”! How hippy and new age!

-J